Hello friend.
Today I’m going to focus on the ‘older lot.’ If you deal with secondary school students (aged between 11 – 18,) sometimes you will look at their antics and think:
‘What have you been smoking?’
Sometimes your teens' adventures can be so boneheaded that your breath is taken away by their audacity and stupidity all in one neat package.
Like an episode of The Inbetweeners.
Well, I’m sorry to tell you that it’s not a bug but a feature.
Teenagers are all biologically programmed to be irritable, annoying and sometimes outrageously idiotic.
But before we look at the science and why this happens, it’s time I confessed my own teenage hijinks to show I was once part of this strange species...
I will list some decisions I made as a teenager that I absolutely cringe at now. Then, I want you to think of your own teenage social disasters you made and compare them to mine. You ready?
◆ At 14 years old, I dyed my hair completely blond to look like the RnB singer Sisqo (remember Thong Song?) But my hair looked more like one of the kitchen sponges you buy at the 99p shop.
◆ At 15, I wore Avirex biker jackets in 30-degree weather to impress the ladies. (I was baking most days, and the smell must have been horrendous.)
◆ When I was 16, nicking my mate’s older brother’s birth certificate to try to get into ‘Over 21' raves (it never ever worked - I don’t know why I bothered. I had to do the ‘walk of shame’ home in front of my so-called friends while they laughed at me.)
◆ In my university years, at 20 years of age (when I was very intoxicated), I tried to dance like RnB singer Usher to impress a friendly young lady. This was in the middle of Leicester Square in Central London: I managed to trip over my feet and was suddenly teleported to the street below. Her laughter was like a cold blade slicing my soul.
And I could go on and on. The clear pattern here is trying to impress the ladies got me absolutely none. I wouldn't relive that part of my life again... 😂
How was your list? I can read your mind, stop lying - I can hear those skeletons jangling in your closet…
Although my life sounded like an episode of your favourite teen sitcom, I prefer to look at those experiences as ‘character building.’ Of course, it’s easier to do that than cry myself to sleep at night - but this is what we expect from teenagers and young people don’t we?
Now we are ‘prim-and-proper’ adults, we tend to frown at the behaviour of our more ‘rowdy’ children. We get outraged when we see Johnny Tableflipper trying to drop kick 11T’s ‘little Eugene’ like prime Hulk Hogan in Wrestlemania VI. When we see Meagan Rubberthrower doing the latest TikTok dance in the middle of our classroom, it’s easy to look at her and think she’s a monster released from some secret military facility.
But we were once them. Our job is to help our students rise out of this ‘gremlin’ phase and help them become the lovely, responsible citizens they can be. But first, we need to understand these teens from a social and evolutionary perspective.
Why Do Young People Act So Silly Sometimes?
The brain is the most intricate organ in the human body and ‘probably the most complex thing in the known universe1’, according to Professor Sir Robin Murray, one of the UK’s leading psychiatrists.
Our brains are made up of little ‘command-centres’ that are in charge of different aspects of keeping us alive and safe. The two command centres that we are interested in are the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. The amygdala, located near the middle of the brain, is believed to be responsible for our emotional processes and is linked to memory.
From an evolutionary perspective, researchers believe the amygdala helps us to access threats and pleasures and tie them to our memories for future use. So the more pleasurable or scary a memory is, the more likely it will be remembered. That's why you can remember your favourite holiday in Mexico but not what you had for dinner three weeks ago.
The prefrontal cortex, located just behind our foreheads, is in charge of what is known as our’ executive functions’ - which require us to manage ourselves and the environment around us. Things like planning, decision-making, setting goals and self-control are thought to be housed in this part of our brain.
Here’s where it gets interesting: you would think the brain would mature in one whole package right? Not so fast mon ami… While the amygdala is more or less online right out of the box, the prefrontal cortex typically matures in your mid to late twenties.
This explains why you, like me, may look at past pictures of yourself and exclaim, ‘What the heck was I thinking?’
Technically, you were, but not with the right part of your brain. Let me explain.
Cold vs Hot Decisions
When one of their students does something worthy of Candid Camera, most teachers believe their young people don’t realise the cost of their actions.’ But neuroscience has a slightly different view… Some neuroscientists would say that these teens are fully aware of their decisions but unable to process them properly, especially when emotions are involved.
In a broad sense, we as humans make two types of decisions. Cold decisions refer to situations that have low emotional arousal. When we have time and space to think through our options and the stakes are low, we can decide calmly and sequentially. For example, shopping for a winter coat is hardly The Fast and The Furious, is it?
Hot decisions are when emotional arousal is high, and significant external pressures, such as time constraints, physical or emotional risks or perceived loss, may impact your decision-making. For example, if you are a first-aider at the scene of an accident, you will have to make decisions that could mean life and death for the victims. This would be a tense situation.
Under lab conditions, scientists have conducted experiments simulating hot decisions in children and adults to see how they respond, using brain imaging technology. These studies revealed that, even in tense situations, grown adults make choices through the prefrontal cortex.
In contrast, young people tended to process these high-pressure situations through their amygdala. In a piece written for The Conversation titled “A Parent’s Guide To Why Teens Make Bad Decisions,” Dr James McCue refers to the link between brain development and poor choices as ‘psychosocial maturity2.’
Further, he states that young people between the ages of 12 - 23 are more likely to:
• seek excitement and engage in risk-taking behaviour
• make choices on impulse
• focus on short-term gains
• have difficulty delaying gratification
• be susceptible to peer pressure
• fail to anticipate the consequences of their choices.
Before we look at a possible solution, let’s get a little context here…
Is There Any Cure For Being an Annoying Teenager?
It might seem like these guys are demons (remember, you used to be like this, too), but from an evolutionary perspective, why do teens behave like this?
Researchers believe this risky, irritating behaviour may hold an evolutionary advantage by “encouraging separation from the comfort and safety of the natal family, which decreases the chances of inbreeding. Yuck.
The behaviour changes also foster the development and acquisition of independent survival skills3.” Psychologists would call this process ‘differentiation’, where the young person pushes away from their caregivers to establish their own identity and will cling more to peers who are going through a similar confusing process.
There’s no cure for moody teenagers, I’m afraid. It’s all there in our DNA.
With this thought in mind, our job is to help guide and scaffold our young people so they can be themselves without making dumb choices that will destroy their future. Here’s the best tip I would recommend:
And Then What?
One of the most frustrating refrains from students displaying risky behaviour is: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me.” The arrogance of youth is awe-inspiring.
Even when exclusion or police involvement is a real possibility, many genuinely believe they’re untouchable. Because their prefrontal cortex isn’t yet developed enough to grasp long-term consequences, we have to help them do that thinking for themselves.
My go-to strategy is a simple question: “And then what?” Said calmly and repeatedly, it forces students to walk through the consequences of their actions step by step. The fancy-pants name for this technique is Socratic questioning.
The power of this approach lies in letting them reach their own conclusions. Lecturing rarely works; it raises defences and damages rapport.
Guiding the conversation, however, preserves their sense of autonomy while exposing the risks they’re failing to see.
Alongside this, helping students empathise with others can interrupt emotionally hijacked thinking. For extra effect, asking them to consider how their actions affect loved ones—or how they’d feel if roles were reversed—can quickly re-engage empathy, particularly with SEMH students.
This little technique does absolute wonders if done correctly! Pro tip: see if you can get to five 'And Then Whats?' That usually gets to the core of the problem and by this time their defences will be significantly lowered.
But if you are still stuck, there are four more techniques that you can try in my second book, The Action Hero Teacher 2: Teachers of the Lost Class – plus lots of other good stuff.
If you are up for it, click the link below and have a gander when you are ready. 😎👇🏾
https://tinyurl.com/3ctdpdrr
That’s all for today.
The next newsletter comes out on Thursday 5th February 2026.
Until then, take care.
Karl
REFERENCES
- BBC. (2012). The brain is the ‘most complex thing in the universe’. (2012). BBC News. [online] 29 May. Available at: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-18233409
- McCue, J. (2018). A parent’s guide to why teens make bad decisions. [online] The Conversation. Available at: https://theconversation.com/a-parents-guide-to-why-teens-make-bad-decisions-88246#:~:text=Cold%20situations%20are%20choices%20made
- Johnson, S.B., Blum, R.W. and Giedd, J.N. (2009). Adolescent Maturity and the Brain: The Promise and Pitfalls of Neuroscience Research in Adolescent Health Policy. Journal of Adolescent Health, [online] 45(3), pp.216–221. doi:10.1016/j.jadohealth.2009.05.016 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/
