Hello friend.
Recently I’ve spoken with teachers, heads, and parents about their kids’ social media use, and it’s deeply concerning.
Cyberbullying is becoming the blight of our age.
As I have written about many times before, our young people’s mental health is falling off a cliff.
And social media is a massive factor causing our young people’s unhappiness. Cyberbullying is no longer on the fringes —it’s the daily reality for millions of children in the UK.
And the consequences are devastating.
Especially now, as a society, we are expected to make our lives ever more digital, these pressures are only set to increase on our children.
From young, we teach our kids about ‘stranger danger’ but it could be argued that cyberspace is an even greater threat than a couple of hoodies down a back alley.
It’s even more critical that we are proactive to give our kids the ‘digital street smarts’ to navigate the Internet safely.
Most adults fail because they underestimate two things:
1. How deeply children live online.
2. How often children suffer in silence.
Social media is controversial. In our deeply divided world, social media usage has become a political football worthy of a World Cup final.
For this newsletter, I looked at the official data published by the Office for National Statistics, which was eye-opening.
Lastly, I am going to do something slightly different. I want to share advice for both teachers AND parents. Parents often turn to teachers for help with their child’s online adventures, and teachers aren’t always sure what to say.
With this guidance, you’ll be ready to give clear, confident advice – keep this in your back pocket.
#1 Cyberbullying is a bigger problem than you think
19.1% of children (847,000 kids) were cyberbullied, and 34.9% faced bullying in person. In a typical classroom, that's between 4 – 10 students.
This type of bullying inflicts massive psychological and emotional damage. And we are even talking about physical abuse that can be inflicted as a consequence of what happens online.
Bullying isn’t “kids being kids.” It’s trauma that distorts their confidence, optimism, and mental health. Despite scrutiny, platforms like Instagram and TikTok still promote self-harm and suicide content, putting vulnerable young people at risk.
Teachers:
• Read the room: which students have become quieter, withdrawn, or suddenly disruptive? Those are often warning signs – trust your gut.
• Use ‘worry boxes’ — anonymous slips where kids can flag if something happened online or express feelings they may feel shy about. Then address them in form time or assemblies.
• Create safe spaces to talk about bullying: make it clear that bullying is a behaviour, not an identity. Bullies are insidious because they make the person believe that they deserve the poor treatment they are receiving. Create safe spaces that reassure and help your students recover their self-worth.
Parents:
• Don’t be a bull in a china shop. If you think your child is being bullied, 9 times out of 10, there will be a lot of shame. Direct questions will only make them defensive. Instead of saying “Are you being cyberbullied?” ask: “What’s one good and one bad thing you saw online today?”
• Cross-check with other parents: Is this only happening to your child, or is it a broader pattern in the year group? Context matters.
• Watch behaviour, not words. Sudden reluctance to use a phone or an obsession with it can signal that something is wrong. Keep your wits about you.
#2 Stop assuming "they'll tell me"
18.1% of cyberbullying victims and 14.7% of in-person victims told no one. Silence is the abuser’s best weapon.
Many children don’t tell because they think adults will:
• Overreact and make it worse (“I’ll call the school right now!”).
• Underreact and dismiss it (“Don’t worry, just ignore it”).
• Fail to understand the platforms they’re on.
One of the mistakes I made was to presume that online bullying is less significant than physical bullying.
However, telling kids to leave Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok doesn’t solve the problem, as their lives and identities are increasingly intertwined with these platforms.
Teachers:
• Learn the platforms kids actually use—TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat—not just Facebook. An informed teacher is more likely to identify trends more quickly and respond effectively.
• Know your school’s online protocols thoroughly and explain them to your pupils regularly.
• Follow-up on any leads – More often than not, you will hear kids talking about online activities. Keep an open ear and ask questions. If these reports turn serious, report them to the DSL and pastoral teams.
Parents:
• Respond, don’t react. When a child shares, first say: “Thank you for trusting me.” That alone keeps the door open.
• Practice asking open-ended questions. When a child discloses bullying, it’s a delicate time. Direct questions will make them defensive, so swap ‘why’ for ‘what.’ For example: instead of ‘Why are you always on Instagram?’ ask ‘What keeps you engaged on Instagram?’’ It lands better
• Monitor subtle signals: changes in eating, poor sleep, or slipping grades can indicate that something is troubling them. Keep a track of any changes and don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, friends or even your GP or school.
#3 Emotional health is wealth
22.7% of children who experienced online bullying said it affected them “a lot,” and two-thirds of that number faced multiple forms of bullying at once.
Bullying isn’t just a one-off — it’s often relentless, layered, and emotionally crushing. Without support, children internalise these attacks, leading to anxiety, withdrawal, or depression.
The greatest risk isn’t just the bullying itself—it’s the long-term erosion of self-worth.
Teachers:
• Affirm the heck out of your students. Vulnerable students need to see that you believe in them. They need to hear: “I see your effort,” “I value your ideas,” and “I’m glad you’re here.” These small acknowledgements can counterbalance online cruelty.
• Teach emotional literacy: give students language for feelings (“I feel excluded,” “I feel unsafe”) so they can articulate pain instead of bottling it up.
• Partner with pastoral staff to check in regularly with at-risk students—don’t wait for them to ask.
Parents:
• State very clearly that you are there for them. It sounds obvious, but when a child is being bullied, it feels like the world is against them. Hearing “I am always here for you when you need me” can be a massive help.
• Validate feelings first: Statements like “That sounds painful.” Or “I’m sorry you’re going through this” shows you are listening and empathising. Kids not only want fixes - they need to feel understood.
• Build coping strategies together: activities like meditation, journaling, sport, and art help with confidence, optimism and self-worth. It’s even better when you take time to do it with them! These tools give children ways to release stress and rebuild confidence.
#4 Arm children with resilience and digital literacy
Kids are being facehugged by their phones.
UK teens, on average, spend more than 3 hours a day online, with very scant preparation to protect themselves.
It’s like giving our kids butter knives in a gun fight.
Teachers:
• Embed resilience in lessons across subjects—English can analyse online hate speech, IT can teach reporting tools, and PSHE can tackle peer pressure.
• Train students to be upstanders, not bystanders—teach them how to intervene safely when they witness bullying and report it to the correct people.
• Encourage “digital detoxes” to show children they can function without constant online validation.
Parents:
• Model resilience: Teach your child to take screenshots, block and report their abusers. Make sure they know they don’t have to stoop to their bully’s level. Show them that disengaging isn’t weakness—it’s control.
• Praise bravery when they stand up for themselves or others online. That reinforcement is powerful.
• Encourage your children to make friendships in real life! Nothing replaces physical relationships. Help them meet other people and participate in shared activities. The phone doesn’t always need to mediate.
I hope that this newsletter didn’t put you on a downer, but gave you a shot in the arm and the knowledge to help your most vulnerable young people.
Cyberbullying is a scourge. However, with the right information and a great deal of courage, we can tackle it together.
✅ TL;DR:
• Cyberbullying is widespread and rising.
• Silence is common—don’t assume children will tell you.
• Bullying causes deep emotional harm—children need active support.
• Digital resilience must be taught at home and in classrooms.
That’s all for today. The next TOTR edition comes out on Thursday 16th October 2025.
Until then, take care.
Karl
